His hands sliding along her thigh are cool, gentle, unyielding. She
Closes her eyes, unbidden, and studies the backs of her eyelids,
Waiting.
“Smooth,” he murmurs, and kisses her ankle, just above the binding.
“Fuck you,” she answers, barely audible.
He pauses. “Open your eyes,” he says. She screws them closed
Tighter for a moment, then does as he asks. The room is filled with
Warm light, a dozen candles flickering. It is her own living room,
But she doesn’t recognize it, doesn’t recognize anything in it,
Even though all the fabric draping the walls and all the candles
Along the mantlepiece, dancing and smoky, are hers. The rug beneath
Her bare skin is hers, bought one morning when the sky was gray and
Laced with rain. Idly, she remembers struggling with the carpet,
Trying to make it bend to fit into her car for the five mile drive
Home, finally leaving it hanging from the passenger side window,
Hoping the rain would hold off until she got it inside. It was an
Oriental, gray and cream and pink, hummingbirds and flowers.
She meets his gaze finally. His eyes are the color of hazelnuts,
Rich and brown. “Say it,” he orders.
“No,” she answers, and looks at the ceiling, knowing that is not
The right answer.
“No?” he asks, and strokes her inner thigh gently.
I will not squirm, she thinks to herself. I will not respond to
This.
But she has already responded, already tumbled laughing and full of
Desire to the floor, to lie in his arms and follow him through his
Kisses. Already reveled in the feeling of his cock stiffening
Against her thigh, the feeling of power that his desire gives her.
She likes this game; likes to arouse him with her smile and her
Light, hesitant touch, then send him home full to bursting, when
Her own desire threatens to overcome her.
She almost didn’t play the game tonight, because the last time she
Played, he refused to leave. He stopped touching her, but he sat
Silent and grim on her couch for some minutes, then drew her to sit
Nestled against him, and draped his arm lazily across her shoulders
While habit and want made the decision for him, and he stroked faster and
More firmly, holding her ever more tightly. She wanted to look
Away.
He spoke only once: “Watch me,” he said, as his hand flew sure and
Strong along the length of his shaft, pre-come glistening under his
Fingers. And at the last minute, he grabbed her hand and made her
Catch his warm sharp smelling come in her palm.
She stared at it. “Get out!” she yelled at him, but he didn’t move.
She smeared her hand down his shirt, a shirt she had given him.
Still he didn’t move. “Did you hear me?” she shrieked. “Get out!
Out! Out out out!”
Langorously he buttoned up his pants and inspected the stain on his
Shirt, already drying. “Don’t be a cocktease,” he said finally, and
Left.
But it had not been mentioned when they saw each other next, nor
The next time, and so she had decided to play the game. Only this
Time not only did he not leave, he did not stop, kissing her and
Caressing her breasts through her shirt until she couldn’t bear it.
She had only two thoughts in her mind, to make him leave, and to
Let him do whatever he wanted to her.
Habit won out. “Stop,” she finally gasped out. “I want you to
Leave. Please leave now.”
To her utter surprise, he answered, “I am not leaving. And I will
Not stop. You may accept this and enjoy what is coming, or you may
Resist, and then I will tie you up.”
She was so surprised that her desire faded. “That’s rape,” she
Said.
“Yes,” he agreed. “It is. Unless you consent. So accept that you are
Going to have sex tonight. Whether it is consensual or not is up to
You.”
She made a mistake, then; she laughed. “You can’t be serious,” she
Said, and went on saying it while he bound her wrists to her
Ankles, right there where she lay on the living room floor, and
While he went to the kitchen and came back with the utility shears,
Which he used to cut away her clothing.
“Stop saying that,” he told her, as he surveyed her, naked and bound.
“I wanted to make love to you. And you won’t let me. So this is
Your doing.”
She stopped paying attention to him, while she considered this. She
Didn’t know what a cocktease was, but she knew that her virginity
Was a commodity, and a weapon. And she used it. It was all she had.
She had barely noticed when he rolled her onto her back, spreading
Her legs, and began sweetly kissing her belly button, the swell of
Her stomach, her hip joint. Her eyes came wide open when his tongue
Made a lazy circuit of her labia, sweeping swiftly and barely over
Her clitoris.
“Stop,” she whispered. Her heart leaped when his tongue touched
Her; she had never felt a desire so strong that she didn’t know who
She was. She was afraid that if she didn’t stop him, she would
Never be able to let him go, never be sure any more whether her
Decisions were hers or his. She wanted him so badly, and for the
First time, she began to be afraid of him.
“I will, eventually,” he answered, a ripple of humor in his voice.
“But first you will beg me to fuck you, again and again, first you
Will come and you will think the earth has stopped moving. And I
Will not stop before I have had my pleasure of you.”
She began to cry then, soft small tears that rolled from her eyes
Down her temples and into her ears. They itched. She wanted to
Scratch them. And still his tongue moved in relentless circles
Round and round her clitoris, making her thighs tremble and her
Hips buck. His fingers played around the opening of her vagina,
Stroking the underside of her ass and dipping gently to caress her
Anus. He pulled her clitoris into his mouth and sucked, flicking
His tongue over it, and she gave up. Her legs locked around his
Head as her orgasm crashed into her, scattering her in all
Different directions.
When she settled back into herself, he was smiling at her. “Have
You ever had an orgasm with another person?” he asked, and in a
Moment of defenselessness, she answered simply, “No. That was the
First.” She did not add that it was her first orgasm, because she
Was afraid that if she did, she would also add that she wanted
Another.
He brought her a drink, holding her up so that she could swallow
Without the water running all over her. She asked him again to
Stop. He let her back down and said, “Not until we’re finished. Ask
Me to fuck you.”
She shook her head, slowly, side to side, while he removed his
Clothes. She had never seen him completely naked, and she thought
She would drown in the beauty of his body. “Say it,” he said, and
Knelt at her feet, holding her left foot. “Say it,” he said, and
Drew her toes into his warm wet mouth.
And now she lies on her back in her own house, trussed hand and
Foot, naked, while he plays his hands over her body and pulls forth
Unwilling desire.
“Do you know what I will do if you refuse again to say it?” he
Asks, running his finger around her inner labia. She is wet from
Her orgasm, open and wanting him. She shakes her head again; she
Doesn’t know, but she knows it will be another thing that both
Terrifies her and sends her reeling with pleasure. His finger
Enters her, easily and firmly, encounters her hymen and stops, then
Wiggles around, elicting a moan from her before she can clamp her
Mouth around it.
“Ask me to fuck you,” he says, withdrawing his finger and inserting
It again.
“Not. On. Your. Life,” she breathes, and he smiles, removes his
Finger, and says, “So be it.”
And then he scoots up between her legs, and she knows what he is
Going to do. His erect cock, fat and slick with pre-come, is
Pointing straight at her, and she wants him so much she thinks for
A moment she has actually shifted herself down to meet him. But she
Has succeeded in holding herself still, though even yet she is
Unprepared for the smooth feeling of his cockhead pushing into her,
Stretching her vagina.
“Remember this,” he tells her, catching her eye. “There will never be
Another first time.” He continues to slide himself forward, and she
Lifts her head so that she can watch his cock disappearing into her
Body. He cups her head behind her neck, holding her, watching her
Face as he begins to pump slowly, a little more of him entering her
With every stroke.
At last his cock comes to rest against her hymen, and he pauses.
“This will probably hurt,” he says. “Do you want it gradually or in
One quick pop?”
“You make a terrible rapist,” she flashes at him, and just as she
Is drawing breath to rail at him, he gathers himself and plunges
Himself into her, breaking her hymen and burying his cock as far as
It will go in her.
Her breath comes out of her in a long whoosh, but she does not cry
Out. “All right?” he asks her, as if they are about to go out to
Eat. “Fuck you,” she answers again, and he nods. “By all means,” he
Replies, and begins to move his hips.
She lets her head fall back, eyes closed, and abandons herself to a
Welter of new sensations. She feels full, and completely open at
The same time. Her body rocks of its own accord, rising to meet him
And falling back to recover. She feels the beginnings of sweat
Along her thighs where they meet his, she smells her own sex in the
Air, weighted and carried along by the smoldering candles.
Unbearably, her orgasm begins to rise, and against her will, her
Voice breaks through her lips: “Yes. So sweet. So good.”
“Say it,” he breathes, increasing his tempo, thrusting a little
More deeply and fully. “Say it.”
“Oh God,” she wails, and cries it out: “Fuck me. Please. Oh, please
Fuck me.”
He groans in desire and slams himself into her; she grabs him and
Squeezes as her second orgasm plows through her brain. In the midst
Of it, she is aware of a completely unexpected sensation: her body
Filling with his come. He drops onto her chest and holds her,
Laying his head against her breasts. His cock leaps and twitches
Inside her clutching vagina, and she falls headfirst into another
Orgasm.
Slowly he gathers himself and withdraws from her. He unties her
Arms and legs and stretches himself beside her, holding her gently.
She is still shaking from her orgasm, and he wipes the tears from
Her face and strokes her hair, absorbing her tremors into his
Chest.
She says something, but her mouth is against his skin and all that
Comes out is a muffled burble. “Shh,” he says. “Don’t speak. Let me
Hold you.” And she relaxes her balled up fists and twines her arms
Around his neck, smelling him and wondering who she is now.
His breathing is even, on her face. She recalls the sensation of
The orgasms he gave her and wonders if they would have been any
Different if she had consented, rather than saying no until the
Very end. She raises her head and looks at him. He smiles at her.
She loves his smile, helplessly.
“You raped me,” she says, but it does not sound like an accusation.
“Do you feel raped?” he asks. He does not seem to be trying to get
Her to absolve him.
“Yes,” she answers. “And no. You did something to me I did not want
You to do. But, oh, it was wonderful.”
“Are you angry with me?” he asks, and she considers this.
“Yes,” she says finally. “I want you to feel this way. I wish I
Could tie you up and rape you.”
“I thought you might,” he says. “But it will not be quite the same,
Because I will be consenting, and you were not.”
“What do you mean, it will?” she asks, and he smiles, gestures for
Her to wait, and goes to the doorway to get his bag. When he
Returns he is holding a dildo and a leather apparatus and a tube of
Lubricant.
“If you wish,” he says, carefully laying each object on the floor
Next to her and avoiding her eyes, “you may tie me up and rape me.”
“But you are asking me to do this,” she says, reaching for the
Dildo but drawing her hand back before she has touched it.
“Not exactly,” he answers. “I am not asking you to do it; I am only
Saying that you may if you wish to.”
“Have you ever done this before?” she asks, darting a look at him.
He is sitting crosslegged beside her, relaxed and easy.
“Raped someone? No. Had sex? Certainly.” His voice is calm, but he
Does not look at her.
“No, I mean, have you ever had—that is, has anyone ever, you
Know.” She cannot bring herself to say it.
He is silent a moment; when she looks up, he is smiling again. She
Blushes, but does not look away. “I should make you say what you
Really want to know,” he says gently, “but I won’t. No, I have
Never had anyone fuck me up the ass. I have a vague memory of
Getting an enema as a child, but never i’ve never had anything
Inserted in my ass.”
“Do you want me to do that?”
“The idea of being sodomized does not greatly arouse me,” he remarks,
Then adds: “But the thought of you wanton and in control of my body
Drives me insane with lust.”
She finally picks up the dildo, turns it over in her hands,
Examining it. It is about six inches long, and thin, with small
Bumps all over it and a flare at the base. The plastic is cool and
Smells faintly of disinfectant. She runs her fingers over it, then
Says: “Yes. I am going to tie you up and rape you.”
He nods, then helps her don the leather harness that will hold the
Dildo to her. She laughs when it is finished, at this small plastic
Cock protruding from her. “I look so silly,” she says.
“You look beautiful and fearsome,” he tells her, and kisses each of
Her palms.
He lies on his back and she binds his wrists to his ankles, as well
As she is able. She has already made up her mind to do to him
Exactly what he has just done to her, though before this night she
Has never even seen a naked cock, let alone taken one into her
Mouth.
She reaches out and laces her fingers into his hair; it is a
Gesture she sometimes makes with her own hair, when she is nervous
Or unsure. He closes his eyes and opens his mouth slightly, and on
Impulse, she drops her hand to his mouth, dips her fingers inside.
His lips close over them and his tongue runs over the balls of her
Fingers; she sighs at the unexpected flash of desire this gives
Her.
She bends over him and kisses his chest, over his sternum, then
Abruptly fastens her mouth onto his nipple. His breath escapes him
In a sharp gasp. She withdraws her fingers from his mouth and bites
Him.
“Yes,” he murmurs, his voice coming out in a sibilant whisper.
“You like to be bitten?” she asks in surprise.
“Occasionally,” he answers, opening his eyes. She continues to meet
His gaze as she lowers her head and bites him again, this time on
His pectoral muscle. A hum of pleasure greets this.
“Odd,” she says, and moves her hand to his cock, half limp and
Still sticky. With one finger, she traces a vein from his balls to
Where it disappears beneath the crown, then runs her fingertip
Around the head, following his circumcision scar. The skin bunches
Below the helmet, puckered and soft. A poor surgeon removed his
Foreskin, but she discovers that what remains is remarkably
Sensitive, and she spends some time playing her fingers over it,
While she works up the courage to suck him.
Finally she reaches out and tentatively places her tongue against
The shaft of his cock. He makes no sound or motion, and she curls
Her tongue into a point, and lets it follow the trail her finger
Has made moments before. She hears his head shift and a long
Contented moan emerges under her hand, resting on his stomach.
She cups his balls shyly with her other hand, feeling the cool
Loose skin and the hairs growing there. Beneath his ball sac his
Anus flexes erratically, as if it is periodically remembering what
She is going to do to it.
Taking a deep breath, she kisses his penis. Her lips open, almost
Of their own accord, and take the tip in. He tastes strongly of her
Own sex, sharp and fragrant and almost a little bitter. She cannot
Get more than two or three inches into her mouth before she begins
To gag, so she contents herself with sucking hard what she can get
In, and alternately stroking and pushing at his balls. His head
Rocks from side to side, but he seems only to be enjoying himself.
“I want to put it in you now,” she tells him, holding his cock in one
Hand and rubbing her saliva into the skin and the dark curls.
He opens his eyes again and takes a deep breath. “Okay,” he says,
At length. “Use a lot of lubricant, and go very slowly.”
She pats around on the floor for the tube of lubricant, and finding
It, she kneels back to apply it to his asshole. He squirms when the
Cold gel touches his skin, and she does not pause to rub it around
And warm it.
“Put some on the dildo,” he says, and she notices that his erection
Has faded. She complies, generously dabbing the jelly onto the
Dangling plastic. And now there is nothing left to do, so she
Places the tip of the dildo against his asshole and awkwardly bucks
Her hips.
“Don’t pump, yet,” he says. “Push first, slowly. It will open up
And take you in.”
She stops, wondering for a moment how much she really wants to hurt
Him, and then she does as he directs, pushing firmly against his
Asshole until the small ring parts on its own and the first part of
The dildo slides into his body.
“Ahhh…..ah!” he says, his voice rising at the end, and she
Freezes. “I’m ok,” he adds. “I just need to get used to you in
There.” She is both amused and non-plussed at the way he refers to
The dildo as “her” although she cannot feel his insides, the way he
Could feel hers.
At last he nods at her, and she begins again to hump her hips,
Brokenly, because this is not a motion she is used to, but at last
She acheives a kind of gentle rhythm, drawing the dildo almost all
The way out before sliding it all the way back into his rectum. She
Marvels at how easily his body accomodates this foreign object, and
Then she notices that her foot is falling asleep, so she shifts.
Immediately, he cries out, in a tone of unmistakable pleasure. His
Cock leaps up from his belly and falls back down again, almost
Visibly throbbing. “Do that again!” he hisses, and she obeys, as
Far as she is able.
It is awkward, shifting and rocking her hips this way, and he does
Not come. His neck is stretched to its limit, as he strains toward
His orgasm, but when her hips are shot through with flashes of
Pain, he still has not come.
She stops. He whimpers, but says nothing. “Look at me,” she
Commands. When his eyes fasten on her, she blushes and swallows her
Words several times before she can say, “I want you to do this to
Me.”
“You want me to fuck your ass?” he asks, sturggling momentarily
Against his bonds. She nods. “But no ropes, this time. I want you
To hold me and kiss me and tell me that you love me while you do
It.”
He smiles slyly. “While I do what?” he asks.
She withdraws the dildo from his ass. It is warm and slightly
Dirty. She inspects it for a moment, then says, “Help me get this
Thing off. You can’t do it while I’m wearing this ridiculous get
Up.”
“You have to untie me first,” he answers. “But what can’t I do?”
Hurriedly, she pulls at the knots, letting his arms free. “You
Can’t do anything,” she mutters, untying the ropes around his
Ankles and tossing them behind her, towards the door.
He sits up, pulls her to him by the leather straps. “Say it,” he
Begs. “Tell me what you want me to do.”
She looks down, at his fingers undoing the buckles of the harness.
“I want to feel you next to my skin,” she answers. “I want you to
Make love to me.” The harness falls away and she finishes: “I want
You to fuck my ass.” The force of his kiss takes her by surprise,
But she dives into it anyway, only vaguely feeling his arms grab
Her close to him.
He lies her on the floor on her side, then pulls her left leg up
And asks her to hold it. She can feel his erection resting against
Her ass cheeks, and she has a moment of rampant fear. As if he
Senses this, he drops his head to her ear and whispers “You are
Beautiful, do you know that?” And he kisses her again, while his
Fingers smear the lubricant over her asshole, darting into her anus
And back out again.
His right arm slips under her, holding her, and she can feel his
Cockhead pressing against her asshole. There is a sharp sensation,
And then without warning, he has buried his cock in her rectum, and
She feels as if it is pointing straight out of her mouth.
A moment of stillness, and then he throws his left arm over her and
Reaches for her pussy. His fingers meet no resistance, and he moves
His hand in ever narrowing circles over her clitoris as he gently
Pumps his cock into her asshole.
“This is much better than rape,” she says dreamily, and pushes
Herself back against him, then forward against his hand. “You’re so
Wet,” he murmurs into her ear, “so wet.” His fingers move a little
More rapidly, his cock a little more strongly, and without warning,
Her orgasm grabs her and shakes her, tossing her up in its teeth
Like a cat with a mouse. She shrieks, this time, in pure pleasure.
His fingers do not stop, and his cock moves faster, and when he grabs
Her and comes into her ass, she is moaning and jerking again,
Shivering in the circle of his arms.
Her back is slick with his sweat, and his breathing is ragged in her
Ear. But he raises himself up, as his cock slides from her ass, and
Kisses the side of her neck. She lifts her foot and with a little
Struggle, she pulls a blanket off the couch. He helps her throw it
Over them, and they sleep, fading into each other’s skins.